wide awake, and so alive.

hello, my name is alyssa.
i should be doing a project and writing essays,
but instead i'm gonna waste an hour on this.
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Song that always makes you sad?: miserable at best.
Last thing you bought?: books. i'm about to buy a swimsuit though.
Favorite day of the week?: friday, friday, gotta get down on friday.
Most frequent song played?: the greatest story ever told // ice nine kills.
T.V. show you secretly enjoy?: toddlers & tiaras.
Favorite shoes you have ever owned?: any of my vans.
Regret something you did in the past?: i guess i regret being afraid and holding back.
When do you want to lose your virginity?: is it bad that i want to lose it before senior year?
When was the last time you cried?: today. like 6 times.
Have you ever been drunk?: only like once. a weekend.
Do you smoke?: not yet. but i know i will eventually.
What is your perfect pizza?: bacon and pineapple.
Would you ever get a tattoo?: i'm going to get a bunch.
How many piercings do you have?: two. my ears, but i want gauges. and my nose pierced. and my cartilage pierced.
Who makes you laugh?: kyle christina sarah alana.
Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?: aidan.
What happens after you die?: you begin life again, as another person.
Have you ever gone skinny dipping?: not yet, but i want to.
What do you want your friends to think about you?: i want them to be jealous of me. that sounds bad..
Do you make wishes on shooting stars?: nope, just airplanes.
If you could go back and change one day, what would it be?: going to keenan's birthday party.
Would you ever participate in a threesome?: if i were drunk.
Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: i almost did last night, when kyle was peeing on the side of my house, and my neighbor's dog ran out barking at him.
Do you usually prefer books or movies?: books.
Who do you talk to most on the phone?: christina.
What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you? last night when sarah and kyle picked me up and took me out for ice cream.
Do you consider yourself popular? not at all. popular people don't spend weekends alone. popular people don't have their texts ignored. popular people are invited to parties. popular people have boyfriends.
What is your favorite book? speak. looking for alaska. paper towns. impulse.
Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? i HATE sleeping alone.
What's your favorite commercial? the tyson chicken nuggets one where the kid doesn't like sausage.
Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? definitely.
Do you always wear your seat belt? safety first.
Who was the last male you talked to? kyle.
What were you doing at 10am this morning? eating a burger.
What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months? summmmmmer.
Do you remember your dreams? some.
Where did your last hug take place? in my driveway, with sarah.
What is the last movie you watched? snow white.
Do you have your future children's names picked out? avery.
How many cars can fit in your driveway? three.
Do you have any bruises right now? i have like 20.
What is the closest red object to you? psych textbook.
What was the highlight of your week? yesterday afternoon when sarah and kyle picked me up.
Whose car were you in last? kyle's mustang.
What color shirt are you wearing? black.
How long is your hair? almost long enough to donate.
Last thing you ate? a burger at 10 this morning.
ast?
Spell your name without vowels: lyss. (:
Do you have any pets? 2 dogs. i'm allergic to them. but i'm going to get fish soon.
What do you dislike currently? aplang.
What are you listening to? ellie goulding dubstep.
If you could have one thing right now what would it be? to fast forward to thursday afternoon.
Who makes you happiest? christina and sarah. and boys.
Who has the same phone as you? every single person in my family.
Do you bite your nails? yes. because i have an oral fixation ;)
What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for? druggie.
Do you drink? yep.
Who are you thinking about right now? boys.
When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard? last night, when i was "fighting" sarah in my drive way. i laughed so hard i fell to the ground and started crying.
How many pairs of shoes do you own? a little less than a hundred.
What are you doing today? i'm SUPPOSED to be doing a project.
If you could be anywhere right now where would it be? at mcdonald's with friends. or at kyle's house. or driving around town. or at the cradle.
What is on your bed right now? me. my laptop. and a project that i should be doing.
Name 3 people who made you smile today? malia. christina. britni.
What are you wearing right now? sweatpants, and a bengie's drive in shirt that i've been wearing for the past 24 hours.
Have you bought any new clothing items this week? yes, from urban.
What are you doing tomorrow? school.
Last person you talked to on the phone? christina.
Any plans today? write some essays. maybe study a little.
How did u get one of your scars? cigarette burn. loljk, but it looks like one.
Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker? alk.
How many texts have you sent/received today? i'm gonna guess about 5, because i have no friends.
How tall are you? 4'13"
Who has been the most influential person in your life? christina.
If you could buy anything, what would it be? a whole new wardrobe.
Who do you spend the most time with? my laptop.
Do people take advantage of you? YES.
Would you consider yourself sarcastic? very.
Do you lick your plate when you're finished eating? yes, because i'm a dog.
What is the best flavor of kool aid? purple.

hello, my name is alyssa.
don't mind me, i'm just trying to hit 10,000 set likes.
i have like 15 drafts of amazing beyond amazing sets,
but i'm saving them for when i (eventually) post story updates.
word of the day: flaming youth.
where i've been: http://drowningintheocean.tumblr.com/

hello, my name is alyssa.
my life as of now:
go to school. hate life. come home. do homework.
and on the weekends, i drive around aimlessly with friends .
or sometimes i go to math competitions and embrace being a nerd.
but hey, if you're missing me, then follow:
http://drowningintheocean.tumblr.com/

hello, my name is alyssa.
"if i die and go to hell real soon, it will appear to me as this room.
and for eternity i'd lay in bed, in my boxers, half stoned, with a pillow under my head."
yesterday christina, sarah, some cute lacrosse boys and i helped kris ask victoria out.
we spelled out GIRLFRIEND? in luminaries. it took hours. but she said yes.
though, apparently it looked like we were having a satan seance, so the cops showed up..

hello, my name is alyssa.
christina should be here soon.
we're gonna get drunk.
and have late night phone calls with boys.
cause that makes us cool.
-
When was the last time you cried? today.
Have you ever been drunk? of course.
Do you smoke? only candy cigarettes.
What is the meanest thing anyone has said about you? people always call me a whore.
Would you ever get a tattoo? i want one, badly.
Do you make wishes on shooting stars? nah, only airplanes.
What is one question you wouldn't want me to ask? this one.
Who do you talk to most on the phone? christina or maddie.
Have you ever had an eating disorder? yes.
When was the last time you made out with a stranger? 5 minutes ago?
What kind of drunk are you? a fun one.
What does your hair look like now? like god.
What nationality would you prefer the father of your children to be? egyptian. oh yes ;)
What would you name your kids? avery, amelia, leah, emma, bryce, devin, etc.

hello, my name is alyssa.
i love deadmau5.
he is we will be in orlando on march 5th, cough becca.
i am determined to have the greatest three day weekend ever.
i now have brown glasses, instead of red ones.
i just wanna spend all my time with logan. or alex.
or anyone who's not gonna bring drama into my life.

hello, my name is alyssa.
...and surveys.
fade // the narrator
through hell and high hopes // the april year.
mr. sinister // scarlet grey
punch // kill paradise.
-
What is the worst thing about hugs? letting go.
Did you talk to anybody random today? courtnay.
If you could hug anyone right now, who would it be? logan.
Do you sleep with shoes on? uhm...wow.
Do you enjoy cuddling? in my bed, with austin, all da way.
Who do you look up to the most? tall people.
Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: 1. Food. 2. Logan. 3. Party tonight.
What were you doing @ 12 AM last night? texting logan.
What kind of cookie do you dislike? oatmeal.
Any plans for this weekend? party tonight. possibly hang out with logan/alex. homework.
What are you listening to right now? the april year.
What's one thing you've learned in the past week? people change.
What are you hungry for? boys.
What color are your nails painted? clear, with red tips.
Have you ever had your nails done? like a legit 20 minutes ago.
Last person of the opposite sex that was in your bed? austin.
Who did you last talk to on the phone? nik.
Who did you last talk to through IM? christina.
Are you ticklish? YES. OH GOD.
Craziest place you've ever slept? bathtub.
Would you sleep with your boss? you mean my pimp, sure.
What is on your computers wallpaper? it's legit just a black screen. it acts as a mirror.
Do your band-aids have cartoons on them? superheroes, actually.
Do you maintain any friendships originating from elementary school? yes.
Do you smoke, anything? just crack.

hello, my name is alyssa.
143 // set it off.
i wrote yesterday. gasp.
hilarious survey answers today.
-
What do you regard as the most repulsive form of music? all music is repulsive.
What do you consider the greatest threat to mankind? me.
If you could project yourself into the past, where would you go? 2 minutes ago. to when i accidentally clicked on a link and lost 2 hours worth of typing.
What are you thankful you are not doing right now? brushing my teeth. i thoroughly enjoy the nauseous feeling of having onion breathe.
What is your favorite thing about the beach? leaving.
What is one object in your home that you are embarrassed to own? my parents.
Fill in the blank; When I dance, I look like: mary katharine gallagher.
What do you need to get right now at the drug store? drugs.
What was the happiest age of your life? back in the day, when i was thirty.
What two words describe your lifestyle? hardcore superstar.
Which ocean creature fascinates you most? octopi.
On a scale of 1-10; how religious are you? -6 billion.
What color looks best on you? invisible.
What is your favorite thing about being sick? dying.
Why are you here right now? the stork brought me.
What was your favorite meal growing up? cucumbers.
What one person or thing reminds you of the 80s? ke$ha.
What is college really good for? experimenting.
What body part aches you the most right now? my left index finger.
When is the angriest you have ever been? about 3 minutes ago. when i changed the page while i was typing.
What is your greatest addiction? penguins.
If you were a professional wrestler, what would your ring name be? the toothpick.
What is your favorite dish at a Chinese restaurant? the fortune cookie.
Who would you least likely expect a phone call from? god.
What time do you usually fall asleep? around 7 pm.
Where is the worst place to be stuck waiting? outside a port-o-potty.
What is the cutest animal on Earth? penguins.
What hobby have you always wanted to pick up? gem sweater collecting.
What do you say most when you're trying NOT to curse? fack.
Do any of your friends have kids? well considering my only friends are my parents....
Do you think people talk about you behind your back? yeah.. they probably talk about how sexy my ass is.
Are your days full and fast paced? seriously? i'm spending all day taking this survey, how fast paced can my life be?
Do you use sarcasm? no, never.
Why do you text message people? because they refuse to be seen talking to me in person.
Describe the last dream you remember: i was attacked by a dingo.
Describe your favorite dream: i hung out with logan. we smoked crack.
Has anyone ever told you they had a dream about having sex with you? yeah....he ended up being a rapist..
Shoe size? tiiiiiiiiny.
What is in the back seat of your car right now? a dead body... well... parts of it.
Have you ever changed clothes while driving? yeah.. then i crashed the car and died.
Can you do the Crank Dat dance? thanks to dance central, yes.
How do you make your money? working the corner.
Do you believe that dreams can be messages from a "higher level”? of definitely. thanks to my dream last night about being attacked by a dingo, i am staying far away from australia.
Would you date someone significantly (9 years or over) older than you? nah. i'd prefer someone 9 years younger.
You've just met someone incredible while out with friends, and he's been kind enough to cough up a phone number. How long would you wait to call? immediately, and advise him to see a doctor about that cough.
Would you have a 'Happy Button' installed on your body, connected to your brain, which would instantly make you very happy whenever you pressed it? this sounds like an ad for the g spot.
What is sexiest on a woman or a man? skin.

That’s all I was to her, wasn’t I? Just somebody eager. She was so willing to cheat on Brandon with me. So willing, that it would’ve been with someone else had I not shown up first. So willing, that there probably was someone else. Milly was right. She is a whore. Without thinking, I frantically dialed the only number I could think of. It went straight to voicemail, and as soon as I heard his voice, I froze. I embraced the moment as though he were still alive. Pretended that he had just forgotten his phone charger at my house again and let the phone die. Pretended that he would be over any second to retrieve it. But pretending couldn't bring him back to life.

I sit, crying, with my back against the door. Caitlin must be crying too because it’s a good twenty minutes before I hear her engine start up. Wait. She’s too drunk to drive. I jump up, throw open the door, and stumble outside. I start to yell, but stop once I notice her car is still in my driveway. Caitlin, however, is halfway down the street, sitting in between two guys in a tiny pickup. I immediately grabbed my phone. I needed to vent. I needed to admit that I was wrong, that Caitlin really was a whore. That there were tons of guys eager to get into her pants. That they were only a phone call away. That she wouldn’t think twice about it.